


Yours Always,

by Ageha_Sakura



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Am i doing the angst TM, Angst, I don't go into detail but it's still technically suicide, I'm Going to Hell, I'm definitely not ready to make a summary, I'm so sorry, M/M, Oh this is probs a reincarnation au, Sorry I'm incredibly depressed and decided to make everyone else depressed too, Suicide, Yeah definitely, can the fandom just choose one I sincerely can't understand why it's so difficult, is this angst?, n fact if you could just straight away give me, not only for this horrible piece of writing but just for my existence in general, or however else you'd like to spell his last name like golly gee, please go easy on this smol strawb, shoulder shrug emote, so suicide warning, some angst featuring Levi and Eren Yeager/Jaeger/Yaeger, this is my first time writing for this fandom and posting to this account, your undying love and affection that would be great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 07:28:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10381614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ageha_Sakura/pseuds/Ageha_Sakura
Summary: I remember the first day we met. Your eyes were nostalgic, filling me with a warmth I never thought I would feel.





	

 

 

When his mind awoke the usual smell of fresh coffee wasn't lingering in the hallways. The slight, muffled movements of pans and steps were absent. The heat of another body slowly cooling away, was missing. When he opened his eyes he realised it was still dark, morning not yet gracing this side of the world with its magnificent display of reds and pinks and orange.

 

 

A sigh escaped his lips.

 

His hand reached over from its haphazard placement on the duvet, grasping at his side table smoothing it over finely grained oak and various trinkets. A watch given to him too many years ago found its way into his hand, he felt it a moment longer than intended, but rather than try to read a watch in the dark he opted for his phone. The regret burned harshly when the glaring light hit his eyes, causing him to mumble on about,

 

"Shit technology with its stupid and unreliable night shift abilities."

 

Regaining some form of vision never took long, but it was frustrating. The phone clock read '02:34', much too early to start the day. He tossed his phone back on the nightstand, listening to it clatter loudly, rolling over and reaching for his lover's warmth. And then he remembered.

 

Even in his dream, the bed was cold.

 

He sprung to life in that moment. Vividly he recalled lazy kisses and travelling hands, hushed hungry words. Which left only one question-

 

Where did his lover go?

 

Without realising, his breathing became quicker, mind rolling out thoughts faster than his movement to sit up, faster than his eyes scanning the room. Immediately he noticed the master bathroom was empty, lights off, but the bedroom door was wide open. Gracefully he stumbled out of bed and went looking around for his missing half. He passed the broom cupboard and the linen closet, stepping briskly into the living space. Still no sight of his apparent night owl. The kitchen was slightly visible from here now and over the top of the middle island was nothing to be seen. He rounded the corner wall, fully gazing at all of the kitchen now and noticed something odd. 

 

The utensil drawer was wide open.

 

A sinking started. The physical feeling of all your blood draining away from the top of your head, down your cheeks and chin, sliding down your neck, taking with it the air to your lungs, down down down until you must be standing in a pool of your own blood. He finally inhaled, heart thrashing against his chest. He turned away from the kitchen, running down the opposite hallway straight to the guest bathroom. 

 

Its lights were on causing a dim sliver of tinted yellow to crawl its way out from underneath the door. Two large knocks were enough for him to understand he wouldn't be getting an answer. Three solid shoulder slams were all it took to loosen the lock. Throwing the door open and witnessing what he was too late to stop is what finally shut him down.

 

Silence. Too much silence.

 

No unexpected screeching at being interrupted. No playful exclamation of 

 

"God damn if you wanted to do it in the shower all you had to do was tell me."

 

No blazing green-blue eyes making enough noise through their intent and thoughts alone, waking up the entire neighbourhood. No. None of that.

 

Instead, all he received was the sickening, festering sent of raw metal; something he swore he would never smell after his high school years, after meeting the love of his life.

 

And Eren promising the same.

 

His knees couldn't hold his weight, crumbling to the tile, slouching with a vibrating 'thunk' against the wooden moulding of the door. His eyes stopped taking in the scene as soon as it was forever etched into his mind.

 

Hours passed. And morning took hold of the sky. Painting it's reds and pinks and orange all across in blurred watercolour. The budding morning light filtered its way through the bathroom window blinds. And if he weren't so empty and broken he was sure he would have commented on how those drops of morning glistened like a crown upon his Eren's head. 

The will to move felt out of his control and he was unsure if it would ever return-if it hadn't been for the clearly folded paper sitting safely away from the nightmare before him.

 

He slowly uncurled himself from the door mould and crawled his way to the paper, his body had never felt so heavy and useless, but the beautiful sloppy curves of Eren's handwriting called for him. 

 

As if Eren had just uttered the word himself-

 

"Levi"

 

Carefully he lifted the paper off the sink top, bringing it closer to his crumpled form. The letter seemed small. Much too small for something so shattering, so ruining. He played yesterday's conversations on loop in his mind, but it wasn't enough. There was no answer for why or what. There were no well-hidden hints. No one moment that called for alarm or special attention. So he went to the day before and the day before that, but it was all the same. 

 

A happy, smiling Eren. An inviting his friends to the apartment, yelling at the TV, complaining about work, and carrying a warm cup of tea, Eren. A perfectly comforting, arms wrapped around his waist, Eren.

 

He opened the letter.

 

 

 

"I remember the first day we met. Your eyes were nostalgic, filling me with a warmth I never thought I would feel. And slowly giving me memories I never recalled having...Placing me back in a world that couldn't have existed. Placing me back to a time, with a person very similar to you. There was something then, very different to what we have now, but very real. It kept me up at night. Thinking about your eyes, but they weren't your eyes. Just eyes that looked like yours. But definitely didn't stare like yours. The eyes I look for every day are soft, still piercing and still heavy set but filled with light. The eyes that fill my nightmares, that fill my unearned memories; those eyes are much harsher. They are dark and hurting. They've seen too much. I've seen too much. Screaming and crying. Death in every moment. Like a constant scrolling of the most traumatic moments in my life. My life. It has to be mine. Right? Why else would I feel such vivid pains? It's too much, I'm so tired. I can't sleep when all I see are my friends dying, my mother dying, you dying. I can't take it anymore. I keep seeing another world every time I close my eyes.

 

I loved you and still love this new you,

But I'm not your Eren and you're not my Levi.

 

Find me again in 2000 years.

 

Yours always,

Eren"

**Author's Note:**

> reallysorry
> 
> come yell at me on tumblr @ageha-sakura


End file.
